A Love Letter

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Matthew 5:9 (NIV)

"You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family." Matthew 5:9 (The Message)

For the record, I am not a peacemaker. I am easily frustrated by other people's seemingly ridiculous behavior. I say, if you want to act badly, fine--just leave me out of it. I have enough to deal with without adding your crazy to my basket.

My husband, on the other hand, is a champion peacemaker. I think his goal in life is to make sure that everyone gets along. The funny thing is, he doesn't have to be a peacemaker. At 6'4" and 280 pounds, he could easily get his own way with just about anyone. I have seen him silence a middle school hallway during a class change with a yell. I have seen him hurl a construction wheelbarrow from one end of our backyard to the other. I even saw him throw a yard tractor once. Yet, he rarely loses it and does such things. 

I am famous for my poor control of my temper. I yell, scream, and may even throw things. I sulk and pout. I hold a grudge. Yet, my husband, even faced with the most frustrating family behavior, gracefully tries to get everyone to play nice. In situations where I would say unkind things, he pours out kindness. In situations where I would run screaming, he wades in to help. The man is either a saint or a lunatic. 

I often find myself, as I have the past few days, marveling at his ability to put aside his own feelings and work toward what he perceives as the greater good. He willingly gives up time with his family to help others. 

I find myself in a strange position. While I love my husband and his peacemaking abilities, I can't help but feel a bit frustrated by it as well. Why do these adults need to put him in the position of peacemaker? Why don't they just stop the behavior and solve the problems themselves? Do they not understand how precious our time is as a family and how rarely we get it? 

It isn't easy to be a peacemaker (or the wife of one). Honestly, there are times when I'm not even sure if the frustration it causes is worth it. Matthew is right though. Peacemaking is a blessing and I love what The Message version of the verse says about peacemaking being a way for us to learn our place and purpose. I guess that is what I am learning by watching my husband. I am to be his support and comfort, his safe place in the storm of hurt feelings and cruel words. I must be willing to let go of my expectations and desires in order that he may be a servant of others. It isn't easy and it is frustrating and disappointing. There are times when I wish he would hurl things and yell and throw his weight around. Yet, he chooses the path of peacemaking. And in so doing, he shows us all the possibility for something better than that which we have chosen for ourselves.